Ready or Not

111km Starting point in Sarria, Spain

I left the United States yesterday for Spain. The day before my flight, I got this overwhelming sense of panic and dread about this journey and just kept thinking, "What have I signed myself up for?" I couldn't shake the heavy weight in my chest or voice in my head that came with a sudden realization that I'm going across the world completely alone for an adventure I am not sure that I'm actually prepared for.

Of course I'm well read and well studied for it. Of course I'm fully prepared in terms of equipment and gear. I have more than I need probably. But am I emotionally and mentally prepared for this? And more importantly, am I physically prepared for this?

Five weeks ago, for no reason whatsoever, I fell while walking my dogs on a leisurely stroll around my neighborhood. I didn't trip or slip....I just toppled over while admiring a neighbor's beautiful Japanese Maple tree. Unfortunately, I severely injured my ankle (more specifically, my peroneus brevis, which my acupuncturist girlfriend was all too happy to diagnose for me -- it's just the tendon that runs behind and under your ankle and connects to your foot around your fifth metatarsal -if you're interested.) At any rate, I was non-weight bearing for 3 entire weeks and then the last 2 weeks have been touch and go and short distance walking only. It's all I've been able to tolerate or have been willing to risk for fear of further injury. The pain has been vacillating between excruciating to tolerable - but never obsolete. And that worries me a great deal considering I need to be walking at least 13-15 miles per day....and I've done virtually no physical activity in 5 weeks. To say that I'm scared to death that I'll get out there and be unable to complete my walks is an understatement.

Getting acupuncture for ankle injury 

Ready or not - I'm here -- in Spain and the adventures begins in the morning.

The Camino has called and I have answered. Finally. After many years of ignoring the pull and the mesmerizing draw, I have answered the call - a bit worse for the wear but I'm here to find out what it wants from me.





The travel was wearisome and taxing. It took about 20 hours from door to door - Atlanta to Sarria. I had a couple of short layovers in Charlotte and Madrid before touching down in Santiago de Compostela. A driver met me in baggage claim with a little piece of paper with my name printed on it and suddenly I was whisked away to the town of Sarria, where my journey will begin.

Sarria, Spain

Sarria, Spain

I checked into my albergue, immediately took a shower and a nap, and then woke up to go on a short exploration of this tiny town. I found myself hungry during Spain's infamous siesta, in which Spaniards close their shops and businesses from 1-4pm to rest and relax. I walked into a cafe and was told they were closed and had no food. As I was walking out, the sweet woman must have taken pity on me and called me back in and told me to sit down. She said, "the only thing I can offer you is a sandwich." I said, "Thank you, I'll take it." I ate a grilled cheese with ham for my first meal in Spain - not a great start to enjoying the amazing food Spain has to offer but no complaints here - I was fed and satisfied! I drank an espresso and headed out again.

Tomorrow, I start a journey I've dreamed of for years. I have no idea why I'm doing this. I've tried to answer that question for months now when people ask. I just don't know. I don't have the answer yet. The Camino started to call to me around 2013 out of the blue. I've tried to ignore it and push it down repeatedly but it started to call me louder. This sounds crazy when you try to explain it. How can something call to you? How can something pull at your heart? Look, it's crazy to me too. I realize it's insane. I'm here to find out what it wants....what I'm supposed to learn....what it wants to teach me. In the meantime, I'll just put one aching foot in front of the other and try to listen.